VICTORY!

VICTORY!!!

Ang pagmamahal ay parang laro. Minsan panalo, minsan talo. Minsan,ilalaban mo. Minsan naman, pipiliin mo na lang sumuko. May SURRENDER naman e. Pwede ka naman mag-another game next time, at sa next game na yon, dapat bumawi ka. Dapat ipanalo mo. Dapat MVP ka na.

Sa bawat ENTER LOBBY mo, dapat sigurado ka. Dahil once na magSTART yan, wala ka nang kawala, dapat tapusin mo. Hindi ka pwedeng basta-basta umalis. Hindi pwedeng pag ayaw mo na, aalis ka na lang. Kung aalis ka naman, siguraduhin mong babalik ka, at pagbalik mo, tanggapin mong AFK ka, na sa buhay ng tao, kapag may tinakasan ka, may consequence yon at kailangan mo yung tanggapin. It's either nabawasan ang CREDIT SCORE mo o kaya naman naREPORT ka ng kakampi mo. Kaya lahat ng sisimulan mo, dapat lang na tapusin mo.

Kung pipili ka naman ng HERO, gagalingan mo. Kasi minsan, kahit na MAIN mo pa yan, kaya ka pa rin talunin ng kalaban. Palakasan na lang. Paunahang magFULL BUILD, pagalingan magFARM. Kaya siguraduhin mo na bago ka pumalag, FULL BUILD ka na. Bago ka sumubok, bago ka tumaya, dapat buo ka na. Hindi pwedeng kulang ka. Hindi pwedeng palambot-lambot ka. Dapat baon mo ang tamang EMBLEM. Kasi kahit na anong ATTACK mo, kung may kulang naman sayo, ikaw pa rin ung talo. Kaya dapat, buuin mo muna yung sarili mo saka mo itaya yang hero mo.

Sa larong ito, hindi naman importante kung gaano karami yung KILLS mo, mas importante pa rin na naprotektahan mo yung TORE mo at lalong-lalo na yung BASE mo. Wag na wag kang magpapabasag sa iba. Hindi pwedeng masira ka nila. Tulad ng sarili mo, ang TORE mo ang isa sa mga bagay na dapat mong ingatan. Hindi ka pwedeng basta-basta bumigay. Dahil sa buhay, ang puso mo ang nagsisilbing BASE ng laro, at ang mga TORE doon ay ang mga walls na tinayo mo para hindi ka basta-basta masira ng ibang tao. Pero ingat ka, dahil minsan, hindi kalaban ang sisira at babasag sayo. Minsan, kakampi mo. Madalas, kaDUO mo. Baka hindi mo namamalayan, papunta na pala siya sa puso mo. 

Pinatulan pa ang 1v1 niya, hinayaan mong basagin niya ang mga TORE na ang tagal mong tinayo, at habang abala ka sa pagpatay ng mga MINIONS sa paligid, nagulat ka na lang na nandon na siya sa BASE mo. Huli na para magRECALL. Napasok na niya ang puso mo. At yun ay pinagbigyan mo. At sa mga susunod niyong laro, pinrotekatahan niyo na ang isa't-isa. It's either mapapatay niyo ung kalaban o makakaDOUBLE KILL sya. Ganon ang pagmamahal. Dapat, dalawa kayong sumusugal. Walang iwanan. Mauna man ang isa, REQUEST BACKUP agad. Pag nakita mong nasa pahamak sya, INITIATE RETREAT agad. At kapag napapagod na, REGEN agad. Parehas dapat kayong lumalaban. Dapat lahat sinosolusyunan. Kung noon ay mag-isa ka lang na nag-iingat sa BASE mo, ngayon ay dalawa na kayo na pumoprokteta sa BASE na sumisimbolo sa kung anumang meron kayo. Kahit na sino pa yan, kahit na ano pa ang umatake diyan, nawa'y lagi niyong piliin na magkasama kayong tatapos ng laban. At wag kakalimutan na tawagin ang LORD sa bawat laban, dahil siya lang ang dabest na pwede niyong tawagin para kayo'y protektahan, para sa kahit na anong laban, maiwasan ang DEFEAT at VICTORY ang maging katapusan.

Hello, Class, Goodbye?

Hello, Class, Goodbye?

Nagsimula sa Goodmorning class, magtatapos ba sa Goodbye, class?

Ayokong isipin.

Ayokong alalahanin.

Ayokong lisanin.

Ang apat na sulok na ito na kinatayuan ko na di ko akalaing mapupuno ng mga ikasasakit ko, ang hirap talagang limutin.

Oo! Sumakit ang ulo, nawalan ng boses, araw-araw nabwisit

To the point na parang gusto mo na lamang manakit

Pero hindi pwede, dahil kung hindi kay Tulfo kayo sasapit. (Char!)

Nasasaktan ako.

Na hindi nakapagpaalam.

Na hindi nakabawi.

Huling turo ko na pala, sana tinodo ko na!

Huling sigaw ko na pala, sana nilaksan ko pa.

Huling inis ko na pala, sana sinagad ko  na.

Huling kita ko na palaaa....

Sa mga estudyante kong di ko namalayang mahal ko na... 

Haysss.... Mamimiss kayo ni Ma'am. I don't know how to put into words yung mga nararamdaman ko ngayon but I will do my very best para masabi sa inyo yung gusto ko sabihin. 

ALOVEmaciga, 

             Ang unang klaseng tinuruan ko. Ang unang klaseng kinainisan ko. Ang unang klaseng inisip kong wag nang pasukan. Kasi naman, mga hindi nakikinig. While I'm talking, tamang chika rin sila. Mas bilang ko pa yata yung pagtanong nyo sa personal life ko at pagtingin nyo sakin kesa sa pagpaparticipate niyo sa klase. Sino ba namang hindi maiinis? Yeah, I admit. I came to the point na gusto ko na kayo ayawan dahil wala naman akong nakikitang eagerness sa inyo to learn. Ayoko na kayo pasukan kasi feeling ko nag-aasksaya lang ako ng laway, ng energy. But thanks to a man who made me go back to my senses na siguro nga ganon lang talaga kayo. Na di ko kayo dapat sukuan. He made me remember na oo nga pala, diverse nga pala ang students natin, iba-iba nga pala sila so thank you! Thank you sa pagpapalawak ng pasensya ko dahil sa inyo talaga super natest ung patience ko and sorry, kasi medyo huli na para magbond tayo. Despite of those things, let me still say to you all na lab na lab kayo ni Mam kahit ang titigas ng ulo niyo! Kahit nabobored kayo sa klase ko or kahit tinutulugan nyo ko, mahal pa rin kayo ni Ma'am. :) Be better, Almaciga ko. Strive for the best! <3
MAHALgany,
             Ang mga ansha kong students charot. Ang mga students who witnessed how soft I am. Ang mga students na nakapagpaiyak sakin nung Valentines HAHAHA well, napaiyak din naman kayo ni Ma'am. :P Ang mga students kong nakarinig ng curse ko kasi naputulan ako ng chalk (well, expression lang yun, okay?) Ang mga students kong tahimik pag research ang topic pero super ingay pag puro hugutan sa lovelife hahaha. Aminin na natin, ilag kayo kay Mam nung una, no? Ilag din si Mam sa inyo char. But as time passes by, I learned how to be part of you. Thank you so much for opening your doors to me! <3 I super duper appreciate all your contibution nung nagfinaldemo ako at don ko nakita how much you love me to the point na todo bigay kayo sa pagsagot hahaha thank you so much for always appreciating my efforts sa lahat ng lessons ko kahit na sawang-sawa na kayo sa dami ng pinapagawa ko hahaha. Thank you kasi you know when to be quiet and when to talk. I do appreciate it. You became my rest kasi di kayo pasaway kay Ma'am so thank you! Sa mga creative outputs, presentations and everything, you never made me disappointed kaya naman nawili ako magpagawa ng activity sa inyo char :D Mahal na mahal kayo ni Ma'am, Mahogany ko. Keep the perseverance and keep being respectful! <3

TindaLOVE,

     Ang mga walang tigil kong students, tamang survey kahit wala naman akong sinabing magsusurvey sila sa research hays. Ang mga di nakikinig, na tuloy pa rin kahit ilang saway. Ang ginawang sleeping time at break time ang klase ko. Ang dahilan kung bakit napaisip ako na "Am I really for teaching?" "with this kind of students?" Haysss.. Mamimiss pa rin ni Ma'am ang makukulit na 'to. Yung tipong mas iniintriga nyo pa buhay ko kesa sa lesson natin. Ganyan kayo kababait tot he point na nakakabwisit kasi kakasabi lang, tanong agad at ulit-ulit pa hahaha gagaling. Pero kahit na ganon, na nasobrahan sa kulit, pag pinagperform naman, napakactive, totodo ng iingay yan. Tindalo yan e! HAHAHAHA. Mas bilang ko pa yata kung ilang beses nyo ko ifollowup kung naaccept ko na kayo kesa sa ilang beses na ifollowup ung missed activities nyo hahaha sarap marealtalk no, char! Pero kahit na ganon, lab na lab pa rin kayo ni Ma'am, Tindalo ko. At sa ayaw ko man at sa gusto, mamimiss ko mga kakulitan at kabibuhan ninyo. Know your purpose, Tindalo! <3

MoLOVE,

             Ang pinakamaingay kong klase. Ang wala ng ginawa kundi "Ma'am pwede po magpractice muna kami sa time mo po?" "Ma'am, pwede po gamitin time niyo po para maggawa kami ng props kasi po bukas na po yun, Ma'am?" "Ma'am, ano po gagawin natin ngayon? May discussion po ba?" Ganyan ang style niyo HAHAHA. Porket alam nyo na malakas kayo sakin e ganyan ginagawa nyo, char! Kayo yung students na lab na lab ko ang pagiging bibo kasi super active to the point na pag sinabi kong "Oh, I need 10 representatives!" Unahan na yan sa pagpunta sa unahan. Kaya ang sarap niyo pagbabatukan e char! Kayo yung students na parang di natakot sakin? Since day one up to the end, same attitude ang pinakita nyo sakin na prang di man lang kayo natakot ng dark side ko charot. Sobrang mamimiss ko kayo, last turo na pala yun, sana nagOT na ko mga 3hrs eme hahaha. Mahal na mahal na mahal kayo ni Ma'am, Molave ko. Stay humble and always be polite! <3

Huling turo na pala yon, sana dinama ko na. Sana sinagad ko na. Sana tinodo ko na. 

Students, mahal na mahal kayo ni Ma'am. Mamimiss ko kayo ng sobra. Nagalit man ako, sumigaw, nabwisit, pumiyok, wag na wag nyong kakalimutan na mahal kayo ni Ma'am. Ang sweet ko na sa inyo ha, wag kayo iiyak hahaha. :P Thank you students for making me enter your hearts! <3 Salamat sa attachment na binigay niyo sakin. I will always be grateful that you became a part of my journey. That you really helped me to improve myself and be better. I may not be the best but I hope na kahit papano ay may naitanim ako sa inyo, hindi lang sana sa utak kundi pati sa puso. MAHAL NA MAHAL KAYO NI MA'AM! So pano, sa muli nating pagkikita???

CLASS DISMISSED. :'( </3

Balang Araw

BALANG ARAW

Madilim

Malamig

Umuulan

Tanging kulog at kidlat lang ang naririnig at namamalayan

Kumukulog, sumisigaw na tila ba gustong manuluyan

Ngunit ewan ko ba't puro sarado lahat ang mga kabahayan

Na akala mo mga tainga na walang balak na ako'y pakinggan

Kaya't ang malakas na dagundong ng aking dibdib ay unti-unting naging kidlat

Kidlat na patulo'y sa pagguhit sa puso kong tumitibok dahil sa takot

Takot na baka maulit muli

Takot na baka maulit na naman

Takot na baka di ko na kayanin

Takot na baka ako'y mapraning

Na sa bawat yabag, lagabog, dagundong na parang may papalapit

Ako'y agad ng nangangatal, naninigas at nanlalagkit

Di makagalaw na tila nadikit na sa pwesto't di makaalis

Sa takot, sa pangamba sa tuwing ika'y nasa malapit

Di malaman ang gagawin kung paano pa tatakasan ang walanghiyang karanasan

Na dinulot mo

Na nananatiling nasa ala-ala ko

Na hinihiling kong sana'y makalimutan ko

Ngunit hindi... Hindi magawa ng sarili kong limutin ng ganon kadali, alisin lahat ng takot at muling mamuhay ng normal

Na parang walang nangyari

Na parang wala kang ginawa 

Pinipilit ko naman! Pinipilit kong gamutin ang sarili ko at kumilos ng nasa ayos

Yung hindi halata

Yung tulad ng dati

Malakasang tawa, masayang mata, masiglang enerhiya kada umaga

Pero di ko talaga magawa!

Nananatili ang kulog at kidlat sa puso ko na tila pinatawan ng habang-buhay na pagkakakulong ang sarili ko't hindi ako makalaya!

Hindi ako makalaya sa pait ng nakaraan! 

Hindi ko magawang magsimula muli't magpatuloy sa buhay

Na tila sumasabay sa patak ng ulan ang mga luha kong sana naman ay maintindihan

Na ang bawat araw ay tila pa rin gabi

Na parang dilim na kailangan lagi ng liwanag

Na parang buwan na kailangan lagi ng araw

Na parang halaman na kailangan lagi ng tubig

Na parang kandila na kailangan ng sindihan

Sapagkat nagdidilim...

Nagdidilim na ang buhay na dati'y puno ng kaliwanagan

Na dati'y maliwanag pa sa sinag ng araw dahil lahat ng kapamilya ay nariyan para siya'y damayan

Kaya't pakiusap... Huwag mo ng dagdagan! 

Huwag mo ng dagdagan ang bigat, hapdi, sakit ng puso kong napreso na sa kulungan...

Na napatawan ng habang-buhay na pagkakakulong.....

Na walang dumadalaw

Walang nakakaalala para mangamusta

Walang nagtatiyagang makinig ng mga litanya

Ganyan naman yan sila, makakaalala lang pag may kailangan sayo o napilitan pa

Kaya hayaan mo na...

Ganyan talaga ang mundo..

Kaya bumangon ka.

Tanging sarili mo lang ang kakampi mo.

Kaya kahit na masakit, BUMANGON KA!

KUMAWALA KA NA SA MGA KADENANG NAKATALI SAYO!

Manalig ka na balang araw sayo ay magpapiyansa

Umasa ka na balang araw may mag-aalis ng kadena

Na papalayain ka sa lahat ng iyong dinadala't- inaalala

Balang araw... Balang araw....

Wag kang mag-alala...

Di magtatagal ay makakalaya ka.

My ROYGBIV

MY ROYGBIV

Diversity, inclusion, tolerance, acceptance and appreciation are all great words, but it's action behind them that holds the power in creating a relationship that leaves me hope that the rest of our forever will follow.

Here's our Beb story:
Once there was a tree. A tree which was striked by the challenges a lot of times. A tree whose full of trashes and negative vibes in its surrounding. A stressed tree... A lonely tree...
But there's this day that this tree and its surrounding started to transform. (Pokemon? Haha) It started to have its green leaves, show its true color and true self. The sky became blue and cloudy. Its surroundings became lively and colorful that's why people say that this tree has been relieved.
You know why? Well, it's really unexpected. Thanks God for having this rainbow of mine. My ROYGBIV...
To my Red (Beb Hazel), you became my color of bravery who always fight for a cause and bring fire to it with love and passion. Thanks for sharing to me that in everything, I must be brave, start facing my fears and let go to the ideal self that I'd been created. 
To my Orange (Beb Jhen), you are my color of strength, my carrots, mangoes, oranges who fills the energy and vitality I needed in my life. Thanks for filling my sky at sunrise and sunset. 
To my Yellow (Beb Hazel), thanks for bringing the color of laughter and warmth to everyone. Look, you're like the sun, moon, stars and sunflowers thay make the world smile just by lighting up its eyes especially in dark times. 
To my Green (Beb Ucell), thanls for sharing the sign of life and hope. Looking over the world, you are everywhere and you had proven it on me. You never left me. You're always there for me and I thank you for that. 
To my Blue, myself, thanks for providing peace and serenity in yourself even if you received trashes that shouldn't be treasured and kept. Thanks for letting yourself be free from all the standards you planted on the thinking of others. Thanks for giving yourself a chance to improve and experience new life with your other colors and enjoy life by taking all the chances of first times that you never think that you can do. 
To my Indigo (Beb Ucell), who spoke calmly but with so much determination, thanks for being the color of silence that make me need you especially in balancing and contrasting some things. 
To my Violet (Beb Lorna), my color of royalty and power, thanks for being the sign of authority and wisdom eventhough you seem bossy at times. Yeah, I badly need you in my life. 

As of now, this rainbow of mine, my ROYGBIV, is the reason why I feel so blessed and motivated. Thanks to all of you for joining hands with one another to unite and prove that a strong friendship doesn't define on the date when you first met but as long as the relationship lives in the heart, it will never be part.

Well, I get to see the colors of my Bebs which became the reason why my boring and stressful life turned to a lively and colorful one. I love you, dearest! 💕

Once Dead

ONCE DEAD

There is a tree under the sun. A tree with trees. A tree without flowers and leaves. A tree with thorns in its trunk. A tree with panicking ants. A tree full of scratches. A living tree but looks like dead.

     Many people do not notice this tree. Maybe because it seems ugly or looks like it doesn't exists. But little they do not know that this tree is the best of all trees cause it has its thorns and scratches that made itself a beautiful and blooming tree.
There were these unexpected happenings that made this tree lost its leaves and flowers that was soon replaced by scratches. It swallowed a thorn like Darna swallowing the white stone to be a hero. But unlike Darna, this tree didn't became a hero. It became no one, nothing, like it's already dead. Just because of that thorn, the scratches appeared all throughout its trunk, spiders leave webs into it like a dead who was buried for decades. But it has its ants who are panicking to save it from death and grief, the ants whose se persevere and hopeful that someday it will bloom again and have its flowers and leaves.
Until one day, people start to notice this once dead tree when they saw that this tree is starting to bloom again, have its flowers and leaves, removing its webs, removing the thorn but still decided to let the scratches stay with its trunk for that made itself a living proof that life has hope and we have to never lose it. These scratches will serve as its marks of success and achievements that she gained after all the challenges. Well, thanks to these ants who never left this tree alone and lonely. Also, thanks to this sun for inspiring this tree that after darkness, there'll be light.
     Anyway, I am Via, once tree full of thorns (challenges and problems), webs (marks of oldness/death, scratches (marksbof success), who was once dead but now rising and living with so much strength and still ready to swallow another thorn to defeat and gain more scratches for marks of success.

To the Girl in the Mirror

To the girl in the mirror:

It’s a one fine day. You’ve made up your mind that all will be well today. You generously sent smiles and greetings to whoever you see. You showered your heart with so much positivity. Yes, you can fool everybody else by making them think that you are perfectly fine. But girl, not me. You had comforted so many people and always says encouraging words for them to feel motivated but still, I see your heart crying and shouting for help. Yes, I know it’s very tiring to be part of this. Some days, it feels like you are the source of joy. But most of the days, you makes joy impossible. I have seen how you struggled with yourself when you can’t even understand why you are crying. I saw how you chose to walk away and weep in your own space. I know that we haven’t spoken for quite some time now. I see you every day but I have forgotten to ask how are you today. I know that you’re now in the point of giving up because of the worthless feeling that kills you inside. But sweetheart, stay a little longer, will you? You can’t keep hiding behind those fake smiles. You no longer need to perform. You have to stop waiting for this world’s affirmation before you truly believe that you are precious. Please… Stay until you’ve seen the fullness of the beauty of the promise. Stay even if you don’t see the reason why. Stay even if there’s a handful of doubts and uncertainties. Stay because it’s worth it. Be brave. Don’t shut your doors so quickly. It hurts for a reason. It hurts because there is something to be exposed. Beloved, fight! You are not just an ordinary woman. You are strong-willed. You push yourself to the limits. You pursue your passions. You take on tough challenges and treat them as your life’s greatest adventure. You’re not the type who easily give up anyway. Since day one you have proven how strong of a fighter you truly are. You fight like a warrior. So please, wait and stay. Your breakthrough is almost there. Keep worshipping. Keep seeking. Keep praying. Stay guarded. Stay focused. God is still working. This is not the end of your story. It is going to be hurt but sweetheart, I promise you, it is not going to last. One day, you will wake up and the first thing that you would feel is not pain anymore. Fight passionately, not desperately. You now know not just how to protect your standards but also how to live it out. You’re going to make it. You’re a born fighter. Remember that the pain you are feeling now is nothing compared to what God is doing in your heart. One day, this brokenness will just be a part of history. You’ll look back and thank God for this so you can finally be there for your true breakthrough. It’s going to be hurt but it’s okay. Someday, a spark of joy will be in your heart again. You will turn out beautifully fine. Just let God be your God. Claim the ending because it’s going to be good. Beloved, you are almost there. Welcome to your new season. For now, I want you to take a deep breath. Slowly with your whole heart, whisper, “I am not defeated. Not today. Not ever.”

Version 2.0

VERSION 2.0

Electricity, just like any good friend, won't always be there by your side. During a thunderstorm, typhoon or a regular maintenance routine done by your area's power corporation, something horrible can happen, unexpectedly.
Picture this, the lights go off, the electric fan stops revolving and the noise from your neighbor's karaoke machine ends with a quick shrick, sort of like a sign that something has come to an end. Darkness. Loneliness. Grief. Longingness. Do I deserve all of this???

On the day after the election on the 5th month of the Roman calendar in the year of the Dragon, I was born in a country that was colonized by three foreigners. My first name was named after the role of Claudine Barreto in Mula sa Puso and my second name was named after the 5th month of the year, but don't think that I'm beautiful as Claudine cause I'm not. My parents were a hardworking couple who specializes their parenting skills and make babies eight times in their 35 years of being together. I grew up in a home where tender loving care was the best ingredient. With Dora the Explorer, I learned how to count numbers, identify colors, distinguish the shapes and speak Spanish language like Gracias. I'm also afraid with jackfruit for it's so big unlike apple and grapes which are my favorite. In also fond of the songs of Marco Sison which makes me sleep automatically. I entered Kindergarten when I was 4 and that's the time when I got my first medal of being 2nd honor. In elementary, my favorite day was Monday for I can wear my green uniform and state the Panunumpa sa Watawat ng Pilipinas during the flag ceremony. May 29, 2010 was the day that I felt that my life will start to be miserable. That's the time when my right leg was fractured that caused me to be lame and strained and use a sling and just have self-study at home. Ididn't stop studying. I do all our assignments and projects and study what they had studied. One month after, I can't take it anymore that's why my parents and I decided to go back in school eventhough I can't walk with my sling. What I thought was that I'll be bullied because of my disability but God is so good that He didn't let that happen. Actually, I was assisted by my friends who took care of me when I'm at school and also my father who carries me when we need to transfer another room. As a 10 year old child, I was expected to feel ashamed about what was happening to me like having this kind of disability and always having my parents even at school. But I acted in the other way because I'm so proud and lucky to have them as my parents for they didn't forget to give the best for me as their daughter. Through that, I became too attached to them like I'm their shadow who was always there next to them. In this part of my life, I still gained 6 medals for being the 2nd honor from Grade 1-2, 4th honor from Grade 3-4 and 2nd honor from Grade 5-6. Well, that's the only way to pay for the hardworks of my parents as a child.

When I stepped highschool, it was the most exciting and miserable part of my life. Having crushes, love team ups, courtship were the things that could make a girl really giggle and feel excitement. But it was also the miserable part of my life. My parents became overprotective given that I'm their youngest child, my bones were once fractured and I'm a girl to keep. I was imprisoned with their rules. I didn't experience any party, any school trip, any outing because my parents didn't want me to go for they have this trauma of losing a child cause my 2 brothers were died due to dengue and bumping accident when they're just a child. I lose my social life. As an early adolescent, I felt that I'm spelled to have them as my parents.
Year 2012, my loving father died because of goiter. He's the best father for he never forget to do his best as the provider of the family and our knight in shining armor. From that moment, my mom became lonely for she's so dependent with my dad. She really love my father so much for I witnessed their love for each other. I can say that it really hurts for my mom cause I always saw her crying, hugging my dad's pillow then pretending that she's okay when we were around.
Year 2013, my eldest sister passed away. She was confined because she was detected that she has a lump in her womb. She's pregnant that time in her 4th baby. She was operated even if she's pregnant and the doctor still left the baby inside her womb. One day after, we received a call from her husband that she's about to born the baby. We said to the doctor to do it in ceasarian way because she was only operated yesterday but little we do not know that the doctor still pushed for normal delivery maybe because she knew that we cannot afford for ceasarian. Thats why my sister bleeds and the baby was born dead. Just for money, they managed to kill my sister and her baby. Great hospital, right? Well, that's how money runs the world. That was another burden and pain for my mother and our family. Last year was my father and now was my sister and her baby. My mom can't take it anymore. Maybe the saying "you can lose a husband but not a child" was true because that's what I saw with my mom. She's so depressed to let herself be eaten by sadness and chose to be emotionally dead even she's still physically present.
Year 2014, I'm now at my 4th year in highschool. I still managed to study even there's a lot of challenges we've faced. I always come to school whether I have money or not, even if I only have 20 pesos that could only afford the transportation fee. From all those challenges, I started to be the slave of our own family. I do all the household chores that's not my work before. My mom always wakes me up through her shout as early as 4:00 am just to cook for the breakfast, clean the house, wash the dishes before coming to school. When I get home, I will cook for dinner, clean the house and wash our clothes. I'm doing those things cause she's not capable to do it for she can't move normally because of her legs affected by her diabetes. I was about to give up back then, leave my family but as a 14 year old and as a girl who was grown up with loving parents, I still chose to stay and face the challenges. April 2015 was my graduation day. All I wished was to walk with my mom and hook my medal to me but she just send my Auntie cause she's not able to walk that far anymore. I'm so sad that time because I used to have her especially when recognition and graduation day. After the graduation when I get home, I was surprised that my siblings were all there and there's a pancit at the table which is my favorite. My mom also gave me a box containing a blue cellphone as her gift. When  opened it, I cried a river while reading her message that she loves me so much and she's proud of me. That moment, I realized how hurt it was for her that's why starting from that day, I did my best to make her feel my love and understanding in her situation. Time passes by, I heard a terrifying sound from the bathroom that made me run so fast and panicked especially when I saw my mom lying on the floor. She was attacked by stroke that made her confined at the hospital. Things were never easy when she's sick. I was the one assigned to fed her, taking care of her, removing her feces and taking bath of her. But there's this unexpected day when she stops breathing and give her life up. That day, I was broken into scattered pieces that no tries can fix me anymore. Why did she also left me? I lose my life. I lose my dream. I became nothing. Months after, my uncle also died. Just two months after my mom's death to be exact.
Year 2016, my sister pushed me to go back in school and study college so I can make my dream come true. I agreed and chose the program Education cause since then, I wanted to be a teacher and also, this is what my parents want me to be. I became an academic scholar that made my family so proud for they didn't need to provide 10,000 pesos for my tuituon fee anymore.
Year 2017, my grandmother, who also have a lot of dreams for me, also died. She's the best grandma for me cause she never failed to make us feel important especially to me as her favorite grandchild. That made me heartbroken again and started to question God for all the challengea I'm facing. Why God? Why me?
Year 2018, in my 3rd year in college, my Auntie, my mother's sibling who was sent to me in my graduation, also died due to kidney cancer. She's also a big part of me for she became our second mother when my mother died. My heart was broken again into smaller pieces. Two weeks after, my uncle, my father's brother, also died. Again, the smaller pieces of my heart were cut into much smaller pieces that no one can fix anymore. Seeing them wearing white dresses, lying in white boxes, entering white house which will be colored white every year made me really broken. From all those happenings in life, I tend to ask God what did I do to have all of those challenges at a very young age that it made me realized that people are really like an electricity, they are not always there to give us the power. They can turn off our lights and they can stop our world from revolving. But as time goes by, I realized tha it's natural to be born and die, maybe God just want me to be strong and be a matured person so I can inspire others and help those depressed people with same experiences as mine.
As of now, I'm getting nearer on my dreams, still an academic scholar, running for Magna Cum Laude, but still longing for their loss for they became a part of my heart and made me who I am today. It's just sad tha they're not here anymore to witness my achievements and be proud of me in every thing that I do. But that's life, so I need to bear with it and accept everything for they became my inspiration, my motivation and my reason on keeping myself going, sparkling and shining. By the way, I am Via Mae Paras Villanueva, a daughter of Eduardo and Amalia, 18 years of age who once lost her power but still managed to rise and be empowered again.

Well, wecome to my life as Via, the version 2.0.

Versus

VERSUS 

"Secretary vs Muse. President vs Secretary. Ikaw vs Ex ng Boyfriend mo. Ikaw vs Pinalit sayo ng Ex mo. Ikaw vs Grades mo. So many versus. So many insecures. So many issues. That's your generation! Selfie dito, selfie doon. Scroll up, scroll down. Mas active pa sa facebook kesa sa recitation! Lahat ng fake news alam, how about the facts on your books, nabasa kaya???", ganyan si Ma'am Mabangis, magbubunga kahit umaga. Parang nanay. Psh!
"Llido!", tawag ni Ma'am sa kaklase ko.
"What do you mean by Assessment? Differentiate it to Evaluation. Now!" Ayan ginamitan na naman kami ng mahiwaga niyang index cards.
"I didn't read my lecture. In short, wala akong pake. Well, share ko lang." sagot naman ni Parco. Ganyan talaga yan. Walang sinasanto. Bastos. Walang modo. Palaayos. Puro makeup pero ang utak walang laman. Itsura lang naman pinapahalagahan niyan. Wala ng mas importante pa kundi kagandahan nya at mga lalaki nya.
Kriiingggg! Kriiingggg! Ayan nagbell na, yey! Mabuti naman at inawat ng bell ang digmaan sa loob ng aming silid-aralan.
Well, well, well. Simula na naman ng plastikan. Ganyan section namin. Kunwari magkakaibigan, pero talikuran kung magsiraan at maglaban. Sila lang naman. Wala akong pake, actually. Isa lang naman akong dakilang observer na witnessed ng kung anu-anong eksenang nasisilayan. Nagkekwento sila sakin. But my mouth was just silent. I'm not a double-faced person. Karamia lang ang peg? Doble Kara? Well, may kilala akong ganyan. At kaibigan ko pa. She keeps on pushing herself to be part of Romma's group which is not a good influence at all. I don't know what she saw to them but all I know was that, she wants to feel superior just like Roma. Little that she know that this group just using her and talking about her when she's not around. Well, I know because I'm part of their group chat. They're considering me as their friend but I'm not like my double-faced friend who keeps on pushing myself to them. In fact, I'm making myself far from them cause I know how they treat a friend and they're not good for me at all. Also, she's now getting worse for she keeps on story telling and be a spy of the two groups which have their both issues. I hate her for being so plastic in both groups. I'm not mad at her if she's not with us anymore cause I know in the first place that she only comes with us when she didn't have any company to be with. I knew it that's why I'm not shocked and I know that if ever she's in the trouble again and be bullied again, she will come back to us. Well, back to the story, me and my friends were at the canteen. It's our break time. As usual, hati-hati kami. Kanya-kanya kasing grupo. Romma's group, Narra's group and our group which is kalma lang. We're now in the library, at nagkukwento na naman sakin si Romma tungkol sa kaaway niyang si Narra. Mas inuuna pa raw kasi ang sarili kaysa sa anak niya. Puro daw paganda tapos ang anak tuluan ang sipon. Sobra na rin daw kasi ang kayabangan. Palibhasa puro kopya lang ang gusto niyang si Romma, e ito namang isa, ayaw magpakopya. Well, sabi nila yan. Lagi raw kasi napupuri kaya ayan lumaki raw ang ulo. Grabeng plastikan no? Kung dati'y magtotropa sila, ngayon ay watak-watak na. What good to Narra ay di niya na lang pinapansin at kusa na lang din syang tumahimik. Noong una, I don't know her side but when we're in the library, she was asked by our president on what was happening. Ayon sa kanya, bigla na lang din daw sya di pinansin at bahala na raw sila kung may problema sila sa kanya.
Isang araw, pumasok ng puro sugat si Romma at Narra. Yung ibang sugat nga nila ay sariwa pa. Kung titingnan, para silang nagbakbakan o naaksidente o isinumpa ng walang pusong mangkukulam. Nagulat nga kami lahat. Maya-maya, we heard them saying bad words to each other. Parang naglolokohan lang like what they used to but today that they had their issues, mukha silang mga plastik na ang sarap sunugin. I heard Romma says to her, "ang chaka mo naman girl" with matching pangdemonyong tawa pa. Syempre di nagpatalo si Narra and she says "Mas chaka kang bakla ka". What made is shocked was that their wounds started to bleed and lalo itong lumala. Kada plastikan nila, kada masakit na salitang binibitawan nila ay nadadagdagan lalo ang kanilang mga sugat sa katawan. At ang iniingatan nilang pisikal na kaanyuan ay unti-unting nasisira at nawawalan ng kulay. Hanggang sa wala na ngang magawa ang mga makeup nilang panakip sa peklat. Na kahit anong pagtatago nila ay sadyang lumalabas pa rin ang kapangitan na sanhi ng kanilang masamang kalooban. Hindi na nila alam pa pano ibabalik ang kanila sarili. Napuntahan na lahat ng derma ay wala pa ring naibigay na gamot sa kanila. Ngunit kahit na ganon, patuloy pa rin sa plastikan ang dalawa at pasimple pa ring nagsasabihan ng masama sa isa't-isa kahit unti-unti ng nanlalagas ang kanilang mga buhok at naagnas na katawan. Siguro tama nga sila na "be careful with your words and actions for it defines who you are." Ngunit, ang titigas talaga nila! Hanggang kamatayan siguro ay balak nilang magplastikan.
Hanggang sa klase na ulit namin kay Gng. Mabangis. As usual, hawak na naman niya ang kanyang mahiwagang index cards. "Llido!", tawag niya kay Romma. Si Romma naman ay nanghihina at nahihiyang tumayo para sagutin ang tanong niya.
"Kindly explain the quotation "Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart."
"Ma'am, for me that means that what we say and what we do is what we are as a person." Naiiyak na sagot ni Romma.
"Galla!", tawag ni Ma'am kay Narra. "How do you understand the same quotation?"
"For me, that's acceptance. We need to accept ourselves, our flaws to be not insecured with others and just be contented of what we are and what God has given to us. Through that, we could not come to the point of underestimating others just to feel superior."
"Well, everyone, just be careful in whatever you do for it can make anybody to determine how you are as a person. Now is the time for forgiveness, students. Llido and Galla, go in front! There's a mirror over there and go and look at yourself. Llido, define yourself in just one word."
"Ugly." said Romma.
"How about you, Galla?" Ma'am said.
"Ugly." said Narra.
"Through that physical appearance, can you say that you have a good heart or an ugly heart just like what you saw in the mirror?" Ma'am said.
"No Ma'am. We're ugly inside and out." said by the two.
Unexpectedly, they hugged each other, cried and thanked our teacher for making them realized that inner beauty is more important than what is visible. Their scars? It started to disappeared and healed. Kasabay ng paghilom ng kanilang mga sugat ang paghilom ng kanilang mga pusong sobra ding nasugatan. Muli silang gumanda at naging magkaibigan. Well, si Gng Mabangis pala ang salarin. I saw her removing her spells using the pictures on our index cards. At least, Romma and Narra were now okay, with no plastikan, just love.

"So for our activity today, let's have a new challenge and let's call it "ITSURA KO VS UGALI KO CHALLANGE!" Ma'am Mabangis enthuaistically said.